Worth Every Penny

"So what is the coolest thing you have seen so far?" I asked Tristan last night. They've been on the east coast tour for six days now.

He thought about it for a minute. "The Holocaust Museum," he replied. "Not that it was cool. Not at all, but..." his voice trailed off.

"I didn't know," he finally said. "I mean, we learned about it at school and all, but...I didn't know."

Worth every penny, this trip.

Never Fly Northwest

An actual conversation I had with a Northwest airlines representative today:

Me: (very polite) "I would like to change a reservation."

R: (just a moment)

Me: (on hold for 10 minutes)

R: "Flight information please?"

Me: "My husband and son are flying into Salt Lake City from DC. Then they are changing planes. There are two planes leaving Salt Lake City at the same time. One is going to Portland. One is going to Medford. Right now they are scheduled to go to Portland. I would like them to get on the Medford plane so I don't have to drive five hours to Portland in the middle of the night with a baby to pick them up. Please."

R: "There are no seats on the Medford flight."

Me: "Yes there are. I just checked online."

R: "There are no MILES seats. You bought the tickets with miles. But there are seats you can purchase for $400.00"

Me: "What? Are the $400 seats first class or something?"

R: "No. They are coach."

Me: "So there are seats available in coach. But not MILES seats? What the hell? What is the difference?!!" (not so polite)

R: "I just explained it to you. There are no MILES seats."

Me: "Could I speak to your supervisor?"

R puts me on hold for TWENTY MINUTES, after which I am kicked back to the main menu. At this point I hung up because Caden was having a meltdown and so was I!

Seriously. The airlines are FREAKING INSANE. And now I have to drive to Portland next Friday night and probably spend money on a hotel room because I don't want to drive five hours back that same night!

ARRGGGHHH!!

Raw Ends

Three years ago, my oldest son and my husband went on a 10-day historical tour of the east coast. They had gorgeous, Indian-summer weather.

Yesterday, my middle son toured Jamestown in a flood and hurricane-force winds. A tree fell in front of their bus on the way back, trapping them for over an hour. The power in the hotel went out. Today they are at Colonial Williamsburg...sort of. Much of it is flooded, and many of the actors did not go to work today, for obvious reasons.

Tristan is not happy. He cried to me on the phone: "Why do I always get the raw end of the deal?"

It's true. My oldest son seems to glide along unimpeded in life, while my middle son hits every bump Trenton avoids.

"It sucks," I replied honestly. "But here's the thing about raw ends: You have to learn how to knit them back together. And learning how to knit something beautiful out of something raw is a valuable life lesson." I paused and smiled softly into the phone at my sweet boy.

"WHAT are you talking about Mom?" he yelled.

"Um. Nothing. I will pray that things get better soon!"

Life lesson lectures are not helpful during times of great disappointment.

What is it with the elderly in our town?

I took Tristan shopping yesterday to buy him "required" items for his upcoming trip to Washington DC. Like a clear plastic poncho. I don't know why he can't just bring his normal raincoat, but whatever.

And yes, this is the same trip my husband and oldest son went on three years ago; a 10-day historical tour of important places on the east coast. Williamsburg, Jamestown, the Smithsonian museums, Philadelphia, the monuments, a tour of the White House, etc. etc. When you live in Oregon like we do, the East Coast might as well be another country. It costs as much as traveling overseas. It is a once-in-a-lifetime trip and IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY TURN TO GO!!!

But now I have a toddler to take care of, and I am also the only person in this family working. Which sort of means I should stay home and work, I guess. So husband gets to go AGAIN and every time he starts to whine about something trip-related I give him a wild-eyed look and he shuts his mouth because IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY TURN TO GO!!!

What was this post supposed to be about again?

Oh yes. The elderly. I had a run in with a chip-obsessed old man at Walmart a few months ago, and yesterday I had the dubious honor of interacting with the most foul-mouthed grandma I have ever laid ears on. Tristan and I were walking out of Fred Meyer when we heard someone whisper, "Help!"

We looked around and saw a tiny, gray-haired lady on one of those electric shopping carts.

"It won't move," she said, futility pushing the button. Tristan bent over to look at the switch.

"Maybe it is not charged up," he suggested. She scowled.

Then: "Shit!" she suddenly exclaimed. I jumped. Tristan shot me a look, clearly confused as to how to reply to that. While I have taught him to respect his elders, we never mentioned what to do when Elders begin to swear at you. Grandma lifted her cane and brandished it in the air. Tristan began to inch backwards.

"This GODDAMN THING AIN'T WORTH A SHIT!!" she screamed, waving her cane wildly in the air. I covered my mouth, trying not to laugh. Tristan quickly moved to my side as she nimbly jumped out of the cart and began marching towards customer service.

"Huh. She seems to be able to walk well enough," said Tristan, laughing. Her head whipped around. I quickly pulled Tristan out the door, as she seemed to be able to hear well enough also.

Although, I wish I would have stayed to see what she said to the customer service agent. Perhaps they had to call security on Grandma?

What type of "friend" are you?

I wrote about my observations about Facebook shortly after I joined. It's been three months now, and I've noticed I can neatly organize my "friends" into certain categories. Unlike real life, of course. (My tongue is firmly planted in my cheek right about now.) And yes, I fit into one of these!

1. The compliment-seeking friend: This lovely person posts a gorgeous photo and then immediately updates her status with, "....hates the way she looks. Please don't look at the photo I just posted for everyone to look at!"
2. The everything friend: This share-friendly lady updates ten times a day so you can know just exactly WHEN her child's soccer practice is and what is for dinner and just where she found that missing slipper she posted about twelve hours ago.
3. The over-dramatic friend: This dramatic diva has crisis after crisis, which are usually quite personal, so she posts them for everyone and her boss to see.
4. The one-upper friend: He is the one who immediately posts about how his day was worse than yours as soon as you share about your horrible day. You could be near death and he would post about how he died but came back to life only to be horrible crippled.
5. The deep-thought thinker: This person posts deep thoughts about Life and the Meaning of Everything and What If I Had Taken the Road Less Traveled?
6. The salesperson: He just endlessly promotes his business.
7. The funny friend: Her every status and comment has to be a hilarious one-liner. I can't imagine the pressure this person is under to constantly come up with appropriate yet snarky comments.
8. The lazy friend: This person uses Status Shuffle because he can't be bothered to actually think of anything to write.
9. The private friend: This is the one friend who never updates his or her status, but always comments about everyone else.
10. The quiz friend: This person takes at least 8 Facebook quizzes per day. You know what country singer she is but you actually don't know anything about her real life.

So which "friend" are you? And can you think of any other friend categories?

Skeleton Jammies

I couldn't bring myself to spring for an actual costume because he is too young to trick-or-treat, but I did find some skeleton jammies. Only guess what? They glow in the dark and I mean GLOW. I could read a book by them. We had to change into regular jammies.

It's That Time Again

Those of you who have read my blog for a while know that I have an October tradition where I post a rant about how much I hate Halloween on my blog. Let's recap:

Here is my rant from 2006.

Here is my follow-up post from 2006 whereupon we celebrate anyway.

In 2007, I didn't rant at all.

Here is my 2008 rant.

Here is my 2008 follow-up post whereupon we celebrate anyway.

This year, all I'm going to say is that any holiday that markets junk food and gore to children should be boycotted.

Disclaimer: This post is sure to be followed up with a cute and totally hypocritical photo of my toddler in costume.

MamaNaNo

My friend Christina and I both dream of writing a novel, but that dream has been pushed aside by the demands of motherhood. November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWrimo), a time when many aspiring writers try to churn out a 50,000 word novel in one month and guess what? Writing is not something you should "churn out", unless you enjoy reading pure crap.

Not other people's crap. I am speaking about my own sad attempt from last year.

Anyway, Christina and I have decided to participate in our own version of NaNo, titled "MamaNaNo". It is not just open to mamas, of course. Anyone can join us. The goals are simple:

• Come up with a good outline for your book.
• Write two or three concise and interesting opening chapters.
• Due at the end of November.

That's it! No pressure. Totally do-able for busy moms and busy writers. After all, everyone knows that quality trumps quantity, and that a good start encourages continued work.

Let me know in the comments if you want to join us, and I will create a special blog and a button for you to put on your website. :)

Great News!

Two hunters found Scout today, three days after she went missing! Luckily, my husband had not left for home yet. They had heard through the grapevine that a dog was missing, and when they saw her huddled under a tree, they called to her. They remembered her name. She came right to them when they called her, and they brought her to the hotel.

She was very hungry but none the worse for wear from her adventure! The hunters would not accept any reward. What nice guys! I am very thankful that she is coming home. Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts!

Not Again

I've lost another precious puppy.

My husband took her duck hunting and lost her due to his own carelessness. It's been three days now, and he has looked for her non-stop, but he needs to come home.

My feelings are mixed: Anger at my husband, heartbreak for my sons, resignation because it's just another thing to add to my List of Crappy Things That Have Happened To Me This Year.

We have decided not to get another dog for a long time, if ever. That is two labs gone in under three years. Not a great track record.

Caden and his best friend.